Guide to understanding your paradigm:

1. Start a journal and divide it into the following headings:

  • My lessons learnt.

    • Age 1 to 13

    • Age 14 to 25

    • Age 26 to 40

    • Age 41 to 50

    • Age 51 to 65

    • Age 66 on

2. During life we all experience some or other crises, some worse than other. Under each age category describe in short the crises you experienced, give each of these stories a topic. Think of crises in your intellect, physical, personal, social, spiritual and/or business life.

3. Under each of these stories write in short the positive lesson you learned from it.

4. Under each of the positive lessons write the negative lesson you learned from it.

5. Write a short paragraph on how you would use the lessons you learnt to your advantage in future.

See example



Chapter 2


Age 1-13

Alone, not alone?


I was to young to remember when my parents got a divorce but it was before I started school at age 6. After the divorce we stayed with my father and this was not an easy life. We moved allot, not just from house to house but from town to town, sometimes twice a year. I still do not know what the reason for all these moves was but at least we where with my father and most of the time we where cared for until that dreadful day. I remember the car being packed but slightly different to the normal moves, for some reason only the kids stuff was packed. My father drove us to a house, no one was home, he of loaded our suitcases and greeted us, I was nine years old and little did I know that I would only see my father again at age 36. I think he made contact one again when I was still very young. I was very close to my father, he always said that I was the apple of his eye but he had to choose between us and his new wife and child. That feeling of rejection set in but it was not all bad, we ended up living with my grandparents on my mothers side and we grew up in a poor but stable home.

Positive lesson:

Growing up in a stable and good environment meant that I could cultivate good moral standards and get an education from where I could build a life. The positive lesson that I learnt was that a stable and strong foundation is needed in any circumstance and should never be compromised.

Negative lesson:

People are people and people are not perfect. No matter who they are and how much they love you, some or other time they will hurt you. Take my father in this story, I know he loved me and it must have broken his heart to do what he did but he made a choice that he believed was best for all.

Going forward:

I would do mu best to provide a stable foundation for my loved ones and not compromise on high moral standards. Saying this I understand that people (myself included) are not perfect and that I need to love myself and those around me with this understanding.

Age 14 - 25

Zoomed away


I was never popular at school and certainly not under the opposite sex, this continued as a young adult. However my older sisters husband had a sister about my age, we met one another on some family occasion and we connected with one another. Seeing one another was difficult but we managed to write one another on regular basis. Back then we where not allowed to wear jewelry to school but we use to write one another on how we almost was found out wearing the love tokens we gave one another. Only my closest friends knew about mine. One day I got home from school and my sister and brother in law was waiting for me, on that dreadful day they told me that my girl went on a motorbike ride with another boy and was killed instantly in a horrible accident.

Positive lesson:

Having close family or friends in times of crises is valuable beyond explanation, always cherish those in your inner circle.

Negative lesson:

Do not let anyone in, do not let anyone get to close to your heart, always but always keep them on a distance.

Going forward:

I would care for my family with all I have and set clear boundaries in all other relationships.

Age 26 - 40

Found and lost


In a short period I managed to own the "world" and loose it as fast as I acquired it. As a young man age 21 I bought my first property, by age 25 I owned four properties and three cars. By age 28 I have lost everything I owned. After school I kicked of a career in aircraft manufacturing and maintenance. I qualified after three years and while my colleagues bought fancy cars I bought my first house, a year later I bought my car but then things got tuff, my salary barely covered my expenses and a needed to make a plan. I started a second job at a night club and this helped me make ends meet, soon it started going better and I had some spare cash so I bought my second property. I shared my house with friends but this arrangement did not work, they always had excuses when they needed to contribute to the expenses so I sold the house and moved to the one bedroom apartment I bought earlier. Some months late an opportunity arose to invest in a new townhouse development and I bought two townhouses with the idea to rent it out. During this time I also bought two additional vehicles, one cabriolet and one ldv. I had allot but I was not happy so I started drinking and being the life of any party, I lost interest in my work and my responsibilities and lost everything I owned.


Positive lesson:

Opportunities do come along, make the most of every opportunity but always protect yourself against any thing that might happen. 


The world and its pleasures will swallow you and spit you out like a nobody when its done with you. If you are lucky you will still be alive. 

Going forward:

I need to protect my foundation of self sustainability and not compromise it by submitting to any form of greed.